Tuesday, August 9, 2011


I'm a bit of a handful, it's true. I'm loud and selfish and stubborn and quirky and cocky and outspoken and completely inappropriate at times. I make mistakes every day. Sometimes I learn from them, sometimes I don't. My expectations are high, but so is my tolerance. If you accept me for me, I will accept you for you, but there is a catch...you have to meet me halfway. I can't be expected to do all the work, because I will eventually tire.

I'm an all American rebel, tougher on the inside than I look on the outside. I can take whatever you dish out and will always give it back in return. I am cynical and sarcastic and jaded and bitter and have been burned more times than I have intentionally set the fire. You have to earn my trust and I expect your total honesty. If you want to be a part of my life, you have to follow through with every word you say. I won't hang on your empty promises.

I am big hearted and kind, but never misjudge that for weakness. Loving is easy, I will give you my whole heart. As a friend it is my job to love you, but I don't always have to like you. Just like trust, you have to earn my "like" if you want it in return. Show me the respect that I deserve and I'll repay it tenfold.

I am brilliant and beautiful and hilarious and imperfect and true. I spin out of control and my emotions often shoot off in all directions like a loose cannon. I'm head-strong and feisty and completely full of myself. I can be hard to handle and downright ugly at times. Some days I'm the blue pill, others the red.   I know that my personality is not for everyone and that's ok. "You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."

I am a walking contradiction. I'm overly confident and independent yet reek of insecurity. I will choke you out just as soon as I'd breath life back into your soul. Take me as I am or move along. If you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!

I will give more than I receive. I don't expect the same in return, all I ask is for your appreciation and a little recognition. Putting a smile on someone's face for no reason at all is one of my greatest joys. It's the little things in life, the things that others might take for granted or not even realize are a big deal that matter most to me.

I'm not sure of anything and my thoughts change erratically from one moment to the next. What you construe as "crazy" might be my normal. Get over yourself, we've all been there. You will often find me standing right on the edge, walking a fine line between holding it all together and crashing hard. It's the rush, the adrenaline that keeps me going and reminds me to breathe. And if you are coming with me, I will push you to your breaking point and beyond.

I'm loyal to a fault. I'm transparent. I'm pessimistically optimistic. I'm in your face. I'm a nuisance. I would rather die living for the things I believe in than to die without ever taking the chance. I will walk until I'm able to run. I will stumble and I will fall. I will get up and do it again. My wounds will always heal. I am unbreakable and resilient.

I will argue with you because I care. I will try my damnedest to understand you, but you have to try to understand me too. Our personalities will differ, that is what makes us unique. It's our own individual personalities that attracted us to each other to begin with. What do you want to contribute? What will you bring to the table? What will you allow me to understand? Can you to sympathize with my needs? What will you allow to exist? What are you willing to do in the name of friendship?

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