Soundtrack: Volume Five - Summertime in Waco

I was the firstborn grandchild, the first of six Martin granddaughters. There was probably some disappointment that none of us were boys to carry on the Martin legacy, but you wouldn't have known it, because all we ever knew was love. Every day spent with my grandparents in Waco, Texas was like magic. Sadly they are no longer around to see the girl that they helped mold into the person I am today, but they are with me all the time and I know they're smiling down with pride.

My Grandfather coached me in the art of being a good tomboy. He took me to the dirt track races and the rodeos. We'd go to the fairgrounds and he'd let me ride as many of those rickety carny rides as I wanted, time didn't matter, we went home when the sun went down. He caught me a "pet" armadillo, showed me how to shoot beer bottles off a fence post and taught me to drive his red and white El Camino, while I sat on his lap, steering the wheel, while he worked the pedals. Had we ever gotten into some kind of accident, I'm sure he would have just brushed me off and told me that was God's way of toughening me up.

My Grandmother, she was strong as nails, but as close to a genuine southern belle as I've ever seen. She was glamorous, with the perfect Texas drawl, it sounded like melted butter and brown sugar. She always smelled amazing, I can't describe it, but I'd know that scent anywhere. She taught me the pretty side of being a girl. When I wasn't allowed to keep a wild armadillo as a pet, she gave me a kitten. I caught frogs in the backyard all dolled up like a little debutante in sundresses and pig tails. Every time we drove through a yellow light, she'd kiss the palm of her hand and press it to the ceiling of the car for good luck, something I still do to this day.

In me they instilled a wicked combination of elegance, brawn, brains, good solid Texas roots and an appreciation for great music.

Long before I worked in a record store, I learned about music from an old radio that sat on a nightstand between two twin beds at my grandparents house. By day it was all Country. Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, Tammy Wynette, George Jones, all the greats. I heard of Elvis Presley's death on that radio one hot August afternoon. By night it was tuned to a Big Band/Jazz station, that is the music that I can still hear when I drift off to sleep. It was the perfect soundtrack for slumber.

The radio sat directly under a mounted deer head. The glow of dial lit up the six-point buck's face in a gentle, calming way. My Grandfather told me that the rest of the deer lived behind the wall. As a child, I imagined it watching over my sister and me as we slept. Nothing could hurt us, if any potential harm came our way, I just knew that brave deer would bust through the wall and save us all. As a child it made perfect sense. That glass-eyed stag was my hero and every night before getting under the covers, I'd stand on my bed and kiss it on the nose in a gesture of thanks for keeping us safe.

Summers in Waco, that is where it all began. Tomboys, girlie girls and fine, fine music.

Soundtrack: Volume Five July 22, 2013

Destination Moon - Dina Washington
Let's Get Lost - Chet Baker
Knock Me a Kiss - Louis Jordan
It's Raining - Irma Thomas
Got My Own Thing Now - Squirrel Nut Zippers
Miserlou - Dick Dale
Feeling Good - Nina Simone
What'll I Do - Rosemary Clooney
Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered - Ella Fitzgerald
Begin the Beguine - Sheryl Crow
Someone to Watch Over Me - Ella Fitzgerald
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes - The Platters
Me and Mrs. Jones - Billy Paul
Night and Day - Ray Charles
A Kiss to Build a Dream On - Louis Armstrong
The Girl From Ipanema - Astrud Gilberto/Stan Getz
De-Lovely - Robbie Williams
Too Marvelous for Words - Frank Sinatra
Melodie d'Amour - Dean Martin
Beyond the Sea - Bobby Darin
Mr. Sandman - The Chordettes
Que Sera Sera - Doris Day
Wishin' and Hopin' - Ani DeFranco
Let's Do It - Alanis Morissette

The Mighty Jackalope

At what point in my life did I stop listening to my own advice and start following the "should haves" from others? It is like I just had an epiphany of sorts, Right now, at this very moment, I'm kinda figuring it all out, seriously people, this is one for the history books! Read on, because it's one of those rare moments where you actually get to witness a little "How Kara Got Her Groove Back," instead of the usual clumsiness that you're so accustomed to.

As it turns out, I don't do "Poor me" very well and to all those that have had to put up with it by offering up their own kind of "what works for me is..." kind of advice, I know you mean well, but deep down you hate saying it as much as I hate hearing it and wish that I was the last person on earth that you had to try to give advice to.

Because here is the thing, I'm gonna take it and then I'm gonna break it. You know, fuck up any semblance of what you told me I "should" do. I know your intent is good and I appreciate you caring enough about me to even consider advising me, it's what we do for the ones we love. We hate to see anyone hurt or misguided, I do the same thing. Every. Single. Day.

If you know me, then you know that I am a long-winded, loud-mouthed, "fixer of others," it's like I'm advising my friends from the floor of the Stock Exchange, he who speaks the loudest and longest wins, right? I also LOVE to hear myself talk, but guess what, I'm not actually listening.

All I do is talk, talk.

As it would seem, the only so-called "expert" on my life is me, and somewhere along the line I stopped listening to my own expert advice, most likely because I didn't want to hear what I actually had to say. See, if you tune out yourself and follow the advice of others, when everything falls apart, "you" aren't to blame.

"Well, if only I hadn't followed your stupid advice, then none of this would have happened."

Oh. My. Geezers, do I adore saying that, but it's time to start the weaning process.

My expert advisor, just stated that I should, and I quote,

"Man the fuck up Martin, if you are going to be truly kick ass, then you have to learn to balance out the ratio a little more evenly. Not work with the 90% protective armor, 10% "sugar and spice and everything nice" on the inside model that you've been rolling with. Oh and by the way, how's that been working out for you?"

Fuck you, when did you get to be so smart, Selfie?! And how is it that you've finally caught up with me? I've been evading you with great success for years. I figured the case went cold by now or you found something better to do with your time, but no, here we meet again. You're sneaky. Sneaky like a snake!

Alright, alright already. I'm listening, no really, I hear ya!

I feel like I'm coming out of the closet, but instead of giving some sort of statement about my sexual orientation, I'm saying "Hey, guess what guys, I am not as tough as I think I am!" But the reply is still the same, a collective "Duh, we know!"

Oh hello there, pleased to meet me.

I think I get it. Like for reals get it! Let's do this, Ms. Martin F.T.W.!

*If you'd like to know more about the jackalope species, please read Getting to Know Your Inner Killer Rabbit.

Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton and Me

I love watching "Inside The Actors Studio" with James Lipton, it's a serious guilty pleasure. I look most forward to the part when he pulls out those index cards of his and asks the actor who he is interviewing those famous "ten questions."

The questionnaire concept was originated by French talk show host, Bernard Pivot, who was inspired by the personality driven Proust Questionnaire. For 26 years, Pivot submitted his own adapted version of the questionnaire to his guests at the end of each of his broadcasts.

Not only am I curious to hear what each actor's favorite curse word is, I secretly like to pretend that I'm the one up there on stage answering the questions in front of a huge auditorium of students.

Does everyone think that way or am I just that self absorbed?

Meh, who cares really. All I know is that I've been practicing my answers just in case I get that call one day.

What is you favorite word? Maritime. I'm not nautical or navigationally sound at all, so there is absolutely no reason for this other than I like the way it sounds.
What is you least favorite word? Chillax and all variations of it. It is a made up word combining the terms "chill out and "relax"and it's awful. Really awful! I want to kick people directly in their teeth when they use it in a sentence.
Me: "What did you do last night?"
Annoying word user: "Nothing much, just stayed home and did a little chillaxin' on the couch"
Me: "That word is awful, please don't say it again or I'll kick you in your teeth!"
Annoying word user: "Whoa, chillllaaaax!"
What turns you on? Honesty. I would much rather someone hurt me with truth than be lied to in an attempt to spare my feelings.
What turns you off? Disappointment. There is no worse feeling than to be let down by someone or something that you once had faith in.
What sound do you love? Laughter. Big, loud, legitimate, crazy laughter.
What sound do you hate? The Turbo Temp thermometers at work that obnoxiously start to beep when they are off their rechargeable cradles for too long.
What is your favorite curse word? Fuck! It's the ultimate in curse words. It can be used in all situations, good or bad. For example, "Would you like to leave work two hours early tonight?" Fuck yeah! or "Can you stay two hours late at work tonight?" Fuck no!
What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? Music Supervisor for TV or movie soundtracks.
What profession would you not like to do? Toss up between Janitor at a Porn Theater or Animal Masturbator. Both are legit jobs and both are ones that I would not want!
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "What took you so long to get here?"